Archive for July, 2009

To have this testimony make sense to a general population who does not know me and keep it under 350 pages, allow me to simply state two quick facts without all the background details. Then I will get on with it

#1. About 18 years ago I was in a very frightening situation and needed to cling so tightly to God that I asked him to show up in all sorts of places [and He did] one place in particular was when I said “Lord, every time I see “GLY”_ _ _ on a license plate I’ll know it is you saying to me “God Loves You”.” I was amazed and encouraged at the timing and frequency of those license plates.

As a child I went to Church, not by my own will… but because my Mother made me go with my Aunt and Cousin’s. I never really learned anything when I went; I was just there because I had to be. At the age of twelve, I left the Church and got lost in this world. By the time, I was thirteen I was smoking weed, cigarettes, and drinking Alcohol. I also started skipping school to get high. I would tell lies to my Mother about where I would be at and what I was doing. I would not come home when I was supposed to I thought I was grown.

i was on the road to hell
like the woman at the well
bound by careless decision making
i needed and awakening
wrong choices left and right
creating division and strife

bound by pain and regret
and trouble in my soul
i lost a part of me
but deep inside i knew
the key to set me free

little girl lost looking for love at any cost

where did she go
when her Savior
she came to know
in that tiny white church of long ago

but many years have passed
since that moment that I met
the one who held the key
to my destiny

Just watched some video’s of old preachers and how God was moving back in the 60’s . I seen many healings and the power of God. It caused me to wounder why we don’t see that stuff as much any more. I have seen God’s power I saw a deaf man be healed and could hear. I’ve seen miracles and I have felt the power of Jesus and had the holy ghost moving in my life, but lately I haven’t seen many major healing miracles. I know its because of us Gods people because the bible says in Heb. 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever. So he hasn’t changed. If he healed back then he will heal today. If he saved then he will save today. If he rasied the dead then he will today. We just have to believe. God people have been going through the emotions of serveing Jesus but have been slack on the living we don’t pray like they did back then we don’t fast like back then therefor our faith has got weak with all our morden day fixes we don’t call on him like we should. You don’t cry out for healing from God untill the doctor has done all he could and your going to die with out God. He has became the last hope when he should be the first. His word says to put him first in Ex.20:3 says Thou shalt have no other god’s before me. He wants to be your first and only hope. There is nothing or no one more powerful. Jesus still the same he can and he will its up to us lets get back in our prayer closet. Now days people don’t want to do anything if it don’t bring them money or fame, but His word says that if we pray in secret he would reward us openly. If we pray and believe and were praying for the right reason not for show God will more let me encourage you to pray really pray daily. If you need some one to believe and pray with you, Please write, email, or text me I’ll pray and believe with you the contact info will be at the bottom of this page and on our contact page. Thank you and God bless.
Mat 6:4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall rewardr thee openlypenly.
Mat 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Growing up I had a pretty normal life, I was raised in a Christian home with my mother, father and one younger brother. From the age of two years old my parents and grandmother had me in church every Sunday, singing in the children’s choir, and participating in church plays. As a got older I was heavily involved with the youth ministry. At this time I thought my relationship with God was great, for I had been in church my whole life. I considered myself to be a very good person However I was still living a life style not worthy of the gospel of JESUS CHRIST. I was going to church every Sunday and professing to be a Christian, yet I was still drinking, partying, and hanging with the wrong crowd of people, who didn’t acknowledge GOD at all in their lives. I had a self righteous attitude about myself; I would spend so much time at church, that I thought I had a great relationship with GOD. I also thought that since I was a good person, kind, and helpful to everyone, that GOD was pleased with my lifestyle and I was surly going to heaven. Before I starting attending The Passion for Christ Movement (P4CM.com), I went to a church that would water down the gospel of JESUS CHRIST, by not preaching the whole truth about GOD through scripture, and I myself didn’t read GOD’s word to find out how Christian are expected to live. I would only read the scriptures that were convenient for me, and didn’t bring a strong conviction against the way I was living. As a teenager I got involved in all kind of sin, homosexuality being one of them. At that time I couldn’t find the place in scripture where God addressed homosexuality, but everyday while I was involved in a relationship with a female I felt GOD tugging on my heart. It was a strong conviction, which I didn’t want to invite at first, because I wanted to enjoy my sin. I knew in my heart that my gay lifestyle and my sinful nature was against GOD, but I would justify it by saying that I’m so involved with the church, and that I give to the needy, plus GOD knows that I’m a good person. I lived a life involved in a homosexual relationship for five years, knowing that GOD wasn’t pleased with the way I was living. Thank GOD for his mercy and grace, for he didn’t give up on me, he continued to call me to come to him and repent. Because I thought I loved my girlfriend and spent so much time with her, I felt that it would be impossible for me to break free from our relationship, I spent so much time trying to ignore GOD’s conviction on my life which lead me into other sins. I honestly made myself believe that the sin of homosexuality was so great that GOD was upset with me, and that he really didn’t have the power to change something like homosexuality that was a big part of me. Bless GOD because my life was changed forever when I met minister Facey from P4CM and he witnessed to me. Shortly after I was invited to visit P4CM by Blair Wingo, (she is the spokes person for the ministry). My hypercritical life was changed forever after that. Since I have been attending P4CM, I have learned the fundamental basis of Christianity, for example; to be Christian is to be like CHRIST, meaning my actions had to change. It’s not enough to just say that I was a Christian yet my actions didn’t reflect it (Titus 1:16). I also now have a clear view of the cross of JESUS CHRIST, before I didn’t understand how important it is to have a complete understanding of why CHRIST died for me. By understanding this fact, I now know that this is the foundation to my faith as a Christian. I’m now justified because CHRIST took my sins and died for me on the cross. Now I’m reconciled back to GOD to have a relationship with him. When JESUS CHRIST sacrifice his self in my place he satisfied the wrath of GOD that was against me because I had sinned against him my whole life thus braking the power of the evil one that once controlled my actions, I’m now set free from all my sins… amen. Now I live a life worthy of the gospel of JESUS CHRIST by faith, trusting in GOD alone and not leaning to my own understanding. When I look back on my life, I wish that I had someone to share the truth about the gospel of JESUS CHRIST, and what GOD expected from my life as a Christian through his Holy word. Not by any works that I could do on my own, for it is only by GOD’s grace that I’m saved (Ephesians 2:8-10). Through the (Ex Homosexual Ministry) GOD has given me the opportunity to share my testimony with this generation. I thank GOD for the privilege to be able to share my story with so many people daily to display his power. The purpose of the Ex homosexual ministry is to expose the lies behind the gay lifestyle that many people in this generation are believing; and to also expose the power of GOD, and how he can deliver anyone from the homosexuality. With GOD my goal is to reach out to anyone that is curious about the gay lifestyle, or all ready involved in a same sex relationship. Thank GOD he has made me a living witness for people who want to get out of the gay lifestyle and get to know him. GOD has the power to set anyone free from homosexuality for that is not his will for your life, he is willing and ready to do so, all you have to do is agree with his Holy word, pray asking him to deliver you, and believe that he will and is capable to set you free from your sin. GOD is faithful, and he will come and deliver you if you just believe (Matthew 21:22). Some Scriptures in the Bible concerning Homosexuality are: (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Romans 1:26-28, Jude 6-9, Genesis chapter 19 and 2 Peter 2:6). NIV Bible

After the storm God gave to the world a rainbow. It was because of the storm that people could grow to appreciate Gods gift…

Masturbation. This is the thing that many people do but don’t really talk about, especially women. It’s looked on as not ladylike and not pure. It’s a shameful thing for many women and men alike. I struggled with masturbation for many years but this wasn’t the only sexually immoral thing that I was enslaved to. I started masturbating as early as 7th or 8th grade, but overall my imprisonment to lust started as early as 4 or 5 years of age. When I was a little girl, I had a friend that I played with. Something must have happened to her because it was from playing with her that I had my first sexual experience. After this one time experience, I wasn’t the same , and I developed homosexual tendencies as well. The seed of lust was planted and grew to maturity in my heart. I went from “humping” the floors, to sexually stimulate myself, to full on masturbation, which became my most shameful secret. The frequency to which I masturbated and the degree to which I did it was so bad that I actually ended up tearing the tissue on my clitoris. This sent me into depression for months because I thought I had mutilated myself. I had contemplated suicide because of it but I still didn’t stop. The real battle began for me when I desired freedom.
In the summer of 2005, while on a mission project, God began to work in my life. When I was there, I met a woman named Kate, who shared her testimony of being delivered from masturbation. This was huge news for me because, until that point, I had believed that I was the only one in the world who did it. Somehow I bought into the lie that I’d never be free and that if I ever told anybody what I’d been doing nobody would love me or at least they wouldn’t look at me the same way. I had a lot to confess. You see I was enslaved not only to masturbation but to pornography, sexual fantasies, and a lot of other things I wanted to keep on the dark.
During the days that followed, God was pressing me to bring it to the light, to confess it. Fear was also there with me. You see, I was afraid to expose myself. This fear wrapped around me like a boa constrictor in order to keep my mouth shut. I was so shamed and afraid of being condemned that I’d be scared to write my struggle with masturbation in my journal because I feared someone would find it. I was in torment. I heard a message that talked about keeping things in the dark. That was the word I needed and I had courage to tell somebody. The first person I told was Kate. Next, I told my roommate and few other girls at the project. I later confessed it my own sister, but this confession was only half the battle.
Then I tried to break free, I found that those same desires tracked me down like a Mississippi Slave catcher. I had never had so much temptation to sin by masturbating in my whole life. I kept giving in and giving in. It was hard to last one day, much less two, without doing it. This lasted from June 2005 to September 2005. Until for 2 and half months, I managed to stop. Temptations were strong. There were times I’d have to run out of my dorm room or find a public place to be in because I couldn’t be alone when I was tempted. This was huge for me because I was used to falling to this sin daily. However, I backslide due to unforgiveness. Sin had a snow ball effect in my life after that because an old habit had revived. Old habits revived because old reasons why I masturbated revived too. I’d masturbate like people eat comfort food. I’d do it because I was bored or upset. It was like how an alcoholic drink is to a drunk— I’d do it to forget.
When I fell after a time of victory, I was constantly taunted with: “See you’ll never be free. You’re always going to be like this.” This sin would seduce me to lay with it then condemn me when I did. I’d struggle trying to go to God. I felt so dirty and so full of despair after I gave in to my own sinful lust, that I’d pull the cover over myself to hide. I didn’t want God to look at my filth. I hated it. It was like an abusive relationship that I couldn’t get out of and didn’t know how. I was losing hope. This lasted from late December 2005 to May 2006.
After this, I run into a ministry that talked about being free from sin. The victory for me came one day as fear was telling me “you may have stopped for now. But you will fall” But God helped me realize something that I hadn’t before when He told me “You never have to do it again.” I never knew I was free from sin. That I actually had a choice. Therefore, I never had to do it anymore. The reason why I have that choice is because of Christ who has made me free from sin. I didn’t have to perform every whim of my own sinful desires. Now I’ve been free for three years. I’m free to talk about it. I thought I’d go to my grave with this sin.