Christian Testimonies » Healing

Atheist to Jesus Freak

A Child of God — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:24:56 +0000

I grew up going to church in a family of professing Christians. I read my Bible every day and prayed every day. Slowly I let the world work itself into my life. The first thing was masturbation. I considered masturbation a “grey area,” not necessarily sin, so I let it slide. I’m here to tell anyone in the same place, it’s SIN! And that sin will eat you like no other that I know of.

Every day it seemed like I was in front of the computer screen pleasuring myself. At some point I stopped reading my Bible and praying. Eventually I started hating church because, in my estimation, it was full of insincere fakers.

I was very bookish and a new trend had hit academia: “The New Atheists”. I read “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins and ate it up. I told my mom, “I don’t believe in God, or heaven, or hell.” And she told me up front that I was serving the devil and was going to hell.

My life just started spiraling downward from this point on. I went to college and did the college things: drugs & alcohol. I was still masturbating almost every day. Two years go by, I start passing out in the shower, while driving, over the stove while I was over the stove cooking.

I go to the doctor and he proscribes a generic version of Zoloft, saying I have “generalized anxiety.” I start taking it and it’s like a miracle drug. I become more outgoing immediately and my mind starts remembering all the things I used to forget. About a month into the regime I run into problems. My mind is on overdrive 24/7. I can’t sleep. I feel like I’m going crazy. One night I returned home, crashed on my bed and thought “if I don’t do something now, I’m checking myself into an institution.”

I called out to God. “I know you’re there and if you save me from this insanity, I’ll follow you.” That night I felt a peace wash over my mind. From that day forward I’ve followed Jesus Christ. Because of what He did for me, I can never again doubt His existence. I owe a lot of what happened to me, to my mother and father’s continued prayers. If you’re praying for someone who’s lost or prodigal, remember God answers prayers!

By: Anonymous

The Prodigal Son: A Time for Everything

A Child of God — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:05:14 +0000

Although I have been growing up in church all my life, I never really personally believed in God until I was entering grade five. The time I first accepted Christ into my life was during a summer bible camp they were doing a play on the prodigal son how the son did so many horrendous things to his father taking all his father’s fortune and leaving home, once he spent all his money he was in the dumps, feeding pigs and as poor as he has ever been. One day after many years he mustered up all his courage to go home back to his father, carrying with him years’ worth of guilt and shame, wishing that his father would forgive him. When his father saw him, they had an emotional reunion, he ran up to his son with open arms with tears and welcomed him home. His father was not angry but was happy that his son finally comes home. At the end of the skit, one of the leaders asked us to whether we wanted to be like the son, and be loved by this father who would forgive us no matter what we have done. I said yes and he invited us to say a prayer on the backstage, and on that day I accepted Christ into my life.

Even to this day, I still remember why I put up my hand, how I felt at that time. Before I met Christ, I was very self-confident of myself, but there were things I was going through which I felt no one really understood. I felt like I was doing a lot of things I was not supposed to but it was going out control, I want to change but I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know how to love, to respect, or to say even the simplest words like sorry and thank you. I was lost; I felt people don’t understand, or know what they say or do has a very big impact on the kid. Or whether they ever considered what we really knew and felt as a kid. On the way, home back I prayed another prayer; I prayed to the lord to take complete control of my life and he did.

From then on, my life toke a major turn; at school I began to stop fooling around, and do my homework. While I stopped being the person I was, along the way I lost a lot of friends. Over time I became really scared, and afraid of other people. But because of that I placed God even more before me. For five years I spent a very difficult time battling myself a hope to change for the better, and all that time I was holding back a lot of tears and hiding a lot of pain. How every week i can feel tears coming down every time i approached the bridge from the church entrance. How I could never open my mouth to speak. All of this was beyond my control. But even then I knew that God was with me. I was thankful that God showed me what it was like to feel alone, to feel completely dependent on God, so that I was able to see how other people must have felt, the people who were unseen, those who were alone and what they needed most. From then, I started to appreciate even littlest things in life from the gracious meals to the simplest hello from another. I was thankful for all the precious people he has placed in my life, because of them I never once felt alone at school. When I went on walks, and see the trees and the sky I wondered at his creation, silently amazed by it and gave thanks for it. I walked in every part of this church alone, and I am not afraid to walk alone in the dark. I went to places where no one could find me and silently played piano, whatever comes out I played and it gave me a peace that stills my heart at the midst of everything that’s is happening. I am thankful for the gifts he has given that were there to settle my heart. If you wondered what it means for God to speak to you, sometimes it’s the wisdom he gives you, the insights you would have never imagined yourself to understand. All of it comes from God alone, it is never from us. All of this is a part of me that has been kept a secret for all my life only between me and God. It is not something I can verbalize well, just because he has done too much for me.

I remember there was countless times I made prayers to lord; if you were to give me strength, and opportunity to serve, help me so that I can give my best to you. One of the most memorable promises I have made to God is whenever you give me strength, I will give everything to care and love for the people around me so that they will never feel sad or alone.

Here is the turning point in my life, God answered my prayers. He gave me the opportunity to serve in AWANA. I do not know why but the moment I stepped into this place God removed me of all my fear and he gave me strength. Then I knew God wants me to be here. There are children here and every one of them is different, each child have their own worries and needs, and if I could help to know each one of them personally, let them feel loved and know that they are cared for; they could see God’s Love.

This year is my fourth year serving in AWANA; I am blessed and overjoyed each time I am with this great big family where everyone cares for one another. Even now, every little thing still matters; it may be holding the hand of a child, their smiles and their laughter, hearing them call out your name and running up to you with a great big hug. I have come to love everyone in AWANA and everyone in this church. When I see the kind of love that we have for one another; it says that God is with us, and it really encourages me to love one another not just as a friend but as fellow brothers and sisters. Sometimes I even feel that I am over blessed by God on everything he has given me now. I learned the importance of a Church, family and how it can grow if there is love and support for one another. The privilege to serve is a gift from God; whenever I am serving God and working for his purpose, I can truly do all things through Christ. My past is like nothing in comparison to the present and what God has more me in the future, by knowing so it gives me more hope than anything else. I am thankful for the past, for life and the experiences it brings that shape us to be the people you have prepared us to be. All those years were like training years from the lord so that I could prepare myself to serve with the heart I have today.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance

Psalm 30:11 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

Psalm 126:2 Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”

No matter where we are in life, what we are facing. There is a time for everything; God has a plan for every one of us. So do not worry, if we trust in our heavenly Father, he will protect us, bless us, forgive us and provide for us, because His love is greater than any sadness we will ever face.

By: Shirley

Struggle with Life

A Child of God — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:06:24 +0000

HI, MY NAME IS JENNIFER I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR THE PAST 4YRS. I HAVE A STRUGGLING LIFE SINCE I WAS BORN AND TILL NOW. I GREW UP IN FOSTER CARE DUE TO MY MOM HAVING SCHIZOPHRENIA SHE TALKS TO HERSELF AND IMAGINES PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO HER EVEN THEY ARE NOT ACTUALLY THEIR.

MY HUSBAND IS 25 YRS OLD DIAGNOSED AT 12 WITH DIABETES AND AT 19 OF FIBROMYALGIA. HE USED TO BE IN THE HOSPITAL EVERY 5-7 TIMES OF THE YR. MANY PEOPLE SAY HE GOING TO DIE BUT I PERSONALLY BELIEVE GOD IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN DECIDE AND MAKE CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE ESPECIALLY IN HIS AND MINE.

WHEN HE IS AT THE HOSPITAL BEING TREATED OR AT THE DOCTORS OFFICE THEY DO MANY TESTS ON HIM. WHEN THEY GIVE US THE RESULTS HE IS ALWAYS FINE: HEART, LIVER, KIDNEYS THE RESULTS INDICATE HE HAS NOTHING WRONG THEY NEVER KNOW WHY HE GETS SICK. I THANK GOD FOR NEVER LEAVING MY SIGHT AND CONTINUOUSLY BLESSING MY HUSBANDS LIFE AS WELL.

GOD EXISTS AND DOES MANY THINGS FOR US ONLY WE CANT PHYSICALLY SEE HIM BUT SPIRITUALLY FEEL HE IS HERE AND WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU.

By: JENNIFER LEAL

Keeping My Promise to God

A Child of God — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 23:42:24 +0000

January 3rd and April 18th will always be very special days in my life. As the reader of this letter, I must let you know that it is by the grace of God that I may be able to share this testimony with you.

My story begins on May 9th 1996. I was arrested and booked into the Santa Clara County Jail on Marijuana possession charges. Though, the events which lead up to this are relevant, it is not the focus of this story. Let’s just say, what the Officers did was unethical and I should not have been arrested.

After being arrested, I called my mom and asked her to call her friend (The bails bondsman) and ask her to come down to the Santa Clara County jail and bail me out.

Well, in those days I was very arrogant and cocky. The thought of me actually being arrested and booked was ridiculous. I figured that I would just bail out and that would be that. I sat arrogantly in the holding tank expecting to be bailed out at any moment (It didn’t happen).

What I did not know was that because of a crime which happened 20 years earlier in my youth, I was now a three strikes candidate.

While I waited to be bailed out, one of the CO’s (Correctional officers) told me that I didn’t make bail and would have to go upstairs to a cell. I was sure he was mistaken. I sat on my bunk all night thinking that “At any moment I would be bailed out” (No such luck).

When morning came, I called my mother to find out why bail had not been posted for me. My Mom told me that her friend (the bails bondsman) had went down to the Santa Clara County Jail and was informed that bail for me was being denied by the night duty judge, who insisted that I appear in arraignment court before bail would be set.

This infuriated me. I called my high powered lawyer and told him that I was being denied bail and asked him how much would it cost for him to come to arraignment court and negotiate my bail.

My Lawyer said, “The reason that you are probably being denied bail is because they want to make it high. It will probably be about One Hundred thousand Dollars. You can afford that, right?”

I said “yes I can, but I have a very bad feeling about this. I said I would feel more comfortable if you were in court with me, even if it is only for a five minute appearance.”

My lawyer told me that he would charge me $2,500.00 for the appearance.

When I arrived into the courtroom, to my dismay, I was informed that I had three strikes. I asked my lawyer was this true and he looked very sad and nodded his head yes.

At that time I was informed that my bail was five hundred thousand dollars. I remember that day very well, my legs were like a wet noodle, I found it very difficult to walk back to my cell.

I always considered myself to be a very tough guy, but I am not ashamed to tell you that I cried like a baby all the way up to my cell.

When I went into my cell, I was very distraught. I saw a Bible laying on the table in my cell and I picked it up (It was the New Testament) and I read it.

After reading it, I became very religious. This is an important statement, because there is a difference in being religious and really trusting God, as I found out.

After reading the New Testament, I began begging God to get me out of jail and pleading with him, making all sorts of promises. I told God that if he got me out of jail, I would make sure that all of my friends and nephews went to church and foolishly continued to promise this and that.

God listened to my pleas and by his grace and his grace only, I made bail. So that you who read this, truly understand that it was only by God’s grace that I made bail, because during that time there were over 300 three strikers in Santa Clara County, all facing life and I and one other person were the only ones who had managed to get out on bail and they (The District Attorney’s office) were furious.

Shortly after my release I heard that the other person was taken back into custody and the rules had been changed, so that all three strikers in Santa Clara County were no longer granted bail.

Now, I was the only three-striker who was out on bail and the pressure was on by the District Attorney to try to get me back into custody.

As mentioned before, I had made all sorts of promises to God prior to my release, but somehow, now that I was free, those promises were now replaced with my need to make people think of how great a person I was and I wanted them to remember me.

I bought my nephew a new car, because I wanted him to remember his great uncle. I bought my adopted daughter in law a new van, because I wanted her to remember how great a person I was. I helped a few people get into I.T.T. technical institute, because I wanted them to go to school and remember how great a person I was. I helped other nephews get great jobs, because I wanted them to remember how great their uncle was.

I wanted to leave a legacy of what a good person I was, so that when I was eventually sentenced to life, everyone would remember me. I was so consumed in doing this that I paid very little attention to my case and the amount of money that I was spending on my own legacy.

In the end, the District attorney got his way and through certain events, I was re-arrested in Sacramento and brought back down to Santa Clara County to face charges.

Within weeks of me being brought back into the county jail, my nephew’s car was stolen and totaled in a crash. My adopted daughter-in-law drove the wrong way on a one way street and her van was totaled, my other nephew lost his job, because of fighting and everyone else dropped out of I.T.T (Coincidence? I think not).

I was devastated. Not only was I going to loose my freedom forever, because of three strikes, everything that I had built up for my self as my legacy, a testimony to myself had been totally destroyed.

I sat in my cell feeling totally defeated. I saw the Bible lying on my cell mate’s table and I picked it up and begin to read it from the very beginning. There was a difference this time. I read it because I wanted to and did not expect God to save me. I had accepted the fact that I was going to get 25 to life.

A short time after I began reading the bible I began realizing what a disgusting person I had been all of my life. The words in the Bible, (Gods words) convicted me so badly that I threw myself on the ground and confessed my sins to God and asked him to let Christ come into my life.

During the same week that I dedicated my life to following Christ, my Attorney (Susan Shores) came to see me. She told me that I would not get 25 to life. That she knew a judge who would not give me a life sentence for having marijuana.

I could not believe it. There was hope for me?

Well, I kept on studying the Bible, started attending Bible studies, and even started a Bible studies in my dorm which consisted of 15 other three strikers, who were all facing life sentences, but because they also trusted God, they are all now home with their families (But that’s another story).

My prayer during this time was to ask God to bless my attorney with wisdom. I am mentioning this, because when you pray to God, you better be careful of what you ask, because you just might get it.

Eleven months into my case, my Attorney (Susan Shores) came to see me and informed me that she could no longer defend me. That she had defended too many three strikers and now it was affecting her emotionally and physically.

I told her that I needed her and that without her; I would more than likely get a life sentence. Susan told me that her Doctor had informed her that she had been internalizing all of the stress that is involved with defending three strikers. If she did not take time off, it would affect her health.

She apologized and told me that I would have a new attorney (Louella Tsai).

At my first meeting with my new Attorney Louella Tsai, she told me right out that I was going to get life. She said that we are going to file a 1538.5 Suppression motion, but it will not work, because no judge in Santa Clara County would grant it, because for a judge to grant it, he or she would have to admit that the officers were lying. She said that no judge in Santa Clara County would ever admit that any Officer would lie.

The motion was filed and the judge heard testimony in the case. After the hearing, the judge stated that she would send us a written response within a week.

One week passed and I called my attorney to see if she had received any response from the judge. My Attorney told me that “We cannot win this case. The judge is going to rule against us.”

Later that week, I had spoken to some Christian brothers who were housed in the dorm with me. They told me that the Holy Spirit had told them to tell me something about my case. This made me get really upset. I was sick and tired of Christian brothers always saying that they had a message for me from the Holy Spirit, who for some reason only talked with them and no one else. Why was that? How come I never heard the Holy Spirit talk to me? What was so different about me?

That night when I locked down in my cell, I called out to God. In a loud voice I said “God, I am sick and tired of people saying that the Holy Spirit spoke to them about me, what makes them so special that they can hear the Holy Spirit and I cannot. I want to hear your voice God, me, personally. Please speak to me so that I can hear you for myself.”

I waited all night, just to hear God’s voice. I even got a little scared, because I wondered if he spoke to me, would I be able to deal with it. Would it scare me?

I stayed up the entire night and there was no voice to be heard from God. The funny part about it was that I was sort of relieved.

I sat on my bunk and picked up my Bible to read a few versus and the strangest thing happened. The words in the Bible were speaking to me. No matter what page I turned to, God was speaking to me. Right then and there, he was answering all of my questions in a voice that I could understand and a voice I did not fear. I knew right then and there beyond a doubt that God is alive and he is real, REAL!!!

I fed on every word that was being given to me and I walked out of my cell with confidence and though I had been up all night, I was not tired. I had no fear about what was ahead of me.

I called my Attorney later in the week, just to hear from her that the Judge still had not made a decision and that I should not depend on her ruling in my favor, because it just wouldn’t happen.

I told my Attorney that I had faith and my Attorney responded, “You’re the only one.”

In the fourth week, I called my Attorney and she said, “I don’t believe it. The judge granted the motion in your favor and the case was dismissed.”

It didn’t end there. The District Attorney re-filed against me and I had to fight the case again from the beginning. During this time I had been incarcerated in the Santa Clara County Jail at Elmwood for approximately eighteen months.

By the time my attorney was ready to file another 1538.5 Suppression motion, twelve months had passed bringing the total amount of time of my incarceration up to thirty months.

Because so much time had passed, witnesses for my case had began to move on with their lives and were hard to find and were just tired of coming to court.

It had become almost impossible to find some of my key witnesses, so, I just explained to God that I did not want to involve witnesses in my case any longer. I would just go into court with him, and whatever he decided, I would trust.

I don’t have to tell you that my attorneys (God blessed me with two at that time) were very upset with my decision. They told me that it was hard enough to win the case when it was me and my nephew’s testimony against two police officers, but now, I was going to be the only witness in my defense against the testimony of three police officers.

They (my attorneys) did not understand that everything was in God’s hands and all I asked of God was for the truth to be known.

The 1538.5 Suppression hearing which was only suppose to only take 3 hours began in May 1999 and ended in November 1999.

Now all was left was for the judge to submit her ruling in writing to everyone.

The weeks went by and during this time something very interesting happened.

I had developed a very bad problem with my knee. It had been swollen for three month and the swelling would not go down. As a result, I could not bend my leg at the knee and had to keep it straight at all times.

This was also very difficult for me, because walking was hard enough, but I also lived on the upper level of the dorm and had to use the hand-rail to walk slowly up and down the stairs.

Even when I prayed in my cell each morning and evening I could only bend one leg and the other I had to keep straight (this was very awkward, but after three months I had gotten use to it).

I spoke with my mother on the telephone and she begged me to go and see the jail doctor. She said that she feared that I could have a blood clot in my knee and that it would become loose and go to my heart and kill me.

My fear was that if I went to the Doctor, he would tell me that I would need surgery and that would mean that I would be sent out to Valley Medical Center.

You are probably wondering why I thought that would be bad. Well, anyone who is sent to Valley Medical Center is rolled up and moved downtown to the main Jail, Which is a very dirty and disgusting place.

I had lived in M5, at Elmwood, which is located in Milpitas California for 34 months and my cell had become my home away from home. I had spent many of hours praying and talking with God there. I also had developed several friendships with other Christian brothers who were also facing what I was facing. Now don’t get me wrong, I would never want to spend the rest of my life in that cell, but if I had to be in Jail in Santa Clara County, that is where I would want to be.

After much pleading from my mother, I decided to go and see the jail doctor. He examined my leg and told me that there was a definite problem. He said that I would have to go to Valley Medical Center to have it drained.

I plead with him and asked him if he could just drain it in his office. He told me no. It had to be done at the hospital.

He told me that he would schedule an appointment for me to see the Orthopedics surgeon, who would X-ray my knee and schedule me for transfer to Valley medical center for surgery.

Man, I felt distraught. I returned to my dorm and to my cell. I told one of my friends that I would be transferred to Valley Medical Center. I asked him to help me roll up all of my property in my cell so when the officers came to get my property, that it will all be in order.

Within minutes of me telling a few people that I would be transferred, inmates in my dorm went to the Dorm Officer to ask if they could get my job as lead Dorm trustee.

For those of you who have never been in custody before a trustee is a job which is assigned to an inmate worker. In M5, a trustee is responsible for making sure that the Dorm is cleaned, passes out food during all of the meals, distributing out laundry and any other related duties.

The benefits are that you are able to get extra food, extra clothing, extra bedding, and extra television time and are not locked down as often as the general population.

This had been my job for at least two and a half years of my incarceration.

As I sat in my cell and continued to pack up all of my property, I felt very distraught. A thought came to my mind, something that I thought I would never consider, because I did not believe in it.

I considered asking God to heal my knee. Now I know that you are probably wondering, how could I, believe in God, not believe in the healing process.

I do believe in God, but I believed that only the Apostles had the power to heal and that it was not in our ability in today’s society. I have seen too many people putting their hands on people to try and heal them and nothing happened. So, I believed what I did.

Now here I was in my cell not wanting to be transferred, but who else could I turn to. I got on my knees (knee, because I had to keep one leg straight). I felt really embarrassed about this.

I put my right hand on my right knee and prayed sincerely. I asked God if he could please heal my knee. I told him the truth and why, even though I already knew that he knows everything and I asked this in Jesus name. (This was around 4:30am)

Later on that evening, (Around 7:00pm) I was taken out to see the orthopedic surgeon (which is located in the Elmwood complex across the road from my dorm).

The doctor examined my knee and compared it to the chart that the other doctor had taken the day before.

He said this is strange. The swelling in your knee seems to be smaller than yesterday.
I did not give it much thought, because I still knew that I would be transferred to Valley Medical center.

He took an X-ray and said this is very strange. He said, I want to wait a couple of days and see you again. And then I will schedule you to go out for surgery.

I returned to my dorm and did not think much of it. I had forgotten about my prayer to God.

The next day, I was walking up to my cell when I reached the top of the stairs; I realized that I did not hold onto the rail. I had walked up without holding onto the rail and did not even notice it.

I couldn’t believe it. I went down the stairs without holding onto the rail and walked back up again without holding onto the rail. Then it dawned on me, I HAD BEEN HEALED BY THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE GOD!!!!

I kept it a secret from everyone until later that evening, because we had a prayer circle at the end of each day, where everyone (Inmates in my dorm) would get together and pray together. At that time, I showed everyone my knee and showed them that I could bend it and told everyone what had happened.

I know that this is hard to believe for those of you who read this story, because if you would have told this to me two and a half years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it myself, but I was healed and no surgery was ever required.

There were 64 inmates (Including me) in my dorm. There are now 64 witnesses who will testify to the truth of this. They were all there and they have all seen for them selves.

Shortly after this miracle, sometime around Christmas, my Attorney informed me that the Judge had again ruled in my favor and on January 3, 2000, by the grace of God, my case in Santa Clara County was dismissed again.

But the story doesn’t end here:

Before I continue, I want to take this time to also thank some Christian brothers, free people, who were inspired by God, to come into the County Jail once per week and visit with all of us and teach us God’s word.

No matter how tired they were from working out there in the free world they would still take the time to come in and share God’s word with us.

Those fine Christian brothers are:

Brother Ede Lee
Kevin
Carol
Bill
Wendell
And Brother Thomas

A special thanks to brother Ede Lee, because he use to tell me, that I should submit my will to God and ask that God’s will be done. I use to say, that I was afraid of that, because what if God’s will was that I would spend the rest of my life in Prison.

His response was, “but you would still be free in Christ.”

Brother Lee, I now understand what you meant.

Now it’s time to go on. As I mentioned earlier, my case in Santa Clara County was dismissed on January 3, 2000, yet I could not go home, because I still had a case pending in Sacramento County.

I prayed and fasted and begged God not to let Sacramento County pick me up (Even after all this time, I still had not learned to trust God’s Will), well they came and picked me up alright and when I arrived in Sacramento County, I was informed that I was being charged with possession of marijuana and three strikes. (Oh no! Not again).

During the process my Attorney sent out an investigator, who interviewed a friend of mine who was there during the arrest. To my amazement, that person confessed to the crime, where most people would think, “Well he’s already in custody for it, why should I confess.”

But by the Grace of God, he confessed to it. His mother confirmed her son’s confession and a third party (A bounty hunter) also confessed that his partner was lying in regards to this issue.

Now I had three witnesses in my defense. My lawyer stated that she would submit the investigator’s findings to the District Attorney and ask for a dismissal.

It should have been cut and dry, but it wasn’t.

The District Attorney stated that since this was a three strikes case, he wanted his investigator to go out and interview all of the witnesses.

My Attorney stated that the District Attorney’s investigator not only received the same information that her investigator received, but that all three witnesses signed sworn statements to the fact.

She said that she is going to ask the District Attorney to dismiss the case.

Months went by, because the D.A. kept postponing the court date that we needed to ask for a dismissal. He kept saying that he had not had time to research the case and had not had time to personally interview the witnesses.

My Attorney stated that she was tired of waiting for the District Attorney to dismiss the charges, and that he was being stubborn, because it was a three strike case and they (The Deputy District Attorneys gets a bonus every time they convict someone for a life sentence).

She said that we will just proceed on to trial and go for the win.

I was tired. Even though I could win, going to trial would mean that I would be in custody for another three years.

I asked God for help. I said, Heavenly father, I know that you can win this case, but I am just too tired. Please tell me what you want me to do. They do not offer deals to three strikers, but If I walk into that courtroom tomorrow morning and the D.A. offers me a deal, then I know it came from you, but if it does not happen, then I will know that you want me to take this to trial.

On April 18, 2000, when I walked into the courtroom my Attorney said that she wanted to have a private conference with me.

Inside of the interview room she said that The D.A. still wants to pursue this case, even though all of the evidence exonerates you. He (The DA) said that he doesn’t care about the truth, he just wants a conviction.

She said that he said he is willing to drop all of your strikes if you would be willing to plead to two years and 1 strike.

I said yes before she could finish the statement. She said wait. Think about this. You can win this case. You are not guilty. But my attorney did not know that God had told me what he wanted me to do.

So I took the deal and was sentenced to 2 years and one strike. Now because of the 1 strike enhancement, it doubled my sentence, which meant that the 2 years was now a four- year sentence. Nevertheless on April 18, I knew that someday I would be going home.

I promised the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, that from that day forward, on January 3rd and April 18th of every year, I would tell as many people as I could of God’s awesome power and how he came to my rescue when I thought that all hope was gone.

Now there is one last part to this story:

During the sentencing portion of my case the Judge gave me good time credits for only 4 months. From January 5, 2000 to April 18, 2000. After which I was remanded into the custody of the California Department of Corrections, to start serving my sentence.

I was first transferred from Sacramento to DVI (Duel Vocational institute) where I was processed through reception and 2 weeks later I was sent to Susanville, level –III, where I was informed that my release date from prison would be February 28, 2003.

Six months later, I was brought in for emergency classification, because they realized that they had made a mistake and my points were not level-III, but Level –I and they asked me where I wanted to go. I didn’t know where. A friend of mine had transferred to CMC (California Men’s Colony), so I said send me there I guess. My counselor told me that they will never give you your first choice, so pick somewhere else. I said, I don’t care, you pick, and he said Susanville, level-I.

A few days later, my counselor called me in and said he didn’t believe it, but the CSR board approved my first request and I am being sent to CMC-West.

So I arrived at CMC-west. While there, I began going over my court papers, because I could not believe that I only received four months credit from the court. I had been in custody for three and a half years.

So I called my family and asked them if they would get me a lawyer. My dad did not think that they would give me anymore time off. My brother (Younger) who is a professor at a local University concurred with my dad. My sister, who is a Deputy Sheriff said that she called the Sacramento Sheriffs records department and there had been no mistake.

My mom was the only one who would at least try (Thank God for mothers).

During this time I worked in the Unit II program office as an inmate posting clerk. I explained my situation to one of my Co-workers (Joe Martinez) who was a Sergeant’s Clerk. He said that he had been studying to be a Paralegal and he could file the necessary paper work to the court for me.

Well you know what they say about Jail house lawyers. And I wasn’t too thrilled about this guy possibly messing up my paperwork, but the more he talked, the more I began to realize just how much he knew.

I thought about it. Had I not learned enough about God yet? Did not God take simple uneducated fishermen and make them some of the most important people in our history?

So I told Joe yes, go ahead and fill out my legal paperwork. Joe told me that he will help me file a “Writ of habeas Corpus” requesting that the court grant me all of my back time credits. He said that the court will turn it down at the informal level, but not to worry, because they always deny it at first, but then we will file an appeal, in which we should win.

So we submitted the “Writ of Habeas Corpus” to the court and waited for the denial to come back so that we could file the Appeal.

One week went by, then two, then three. Joe said that this was unusual, because the denial is usually sent back within the first week.

I am telling you that we were both really stressing.

On April 18, 2001, one year later from the date that I was sentenced, I knew that I had to keep my promise to God, so I met together with a few Christian brothers that I had met at CMC-west and I cooked for them and told them the story of how God saved my life and all of the miracles that I had witnessed since January 1997 through my final deliverance on April 18, 2000.

When we finished eating, I returned to the program office to finish up some work on my desk and to my surprise, I was told by the mailroom officer, that I had legal mail waiting for me.

He handed me the letter and I was too afraid to open it. I knew it was the denial, but I didn’t want to read it.

When I opened it, it read that the court found that the “Writ of Habeas Corpus”, which was filed had good cause and the court wanted to know if the District Attorney’s office or CDC could provide any legal reason that it should not be granted.

One other thing that shocked me and Joe was that the Judge cited a case in my favor on why the “Writ” should be granted.

Joe and I were ecstatic. We rushed over to the law library to look up the case that the judge had cited on my behalf. In short it was a Supreme Court ruling, which stated that a person must be given all credits from the date of his/her incarceration.

Shortly afterward the Judge granted the “Writ of habeas Corpus.” Stating that the District Attorney’s office conceded that I should have been given credit from January 1997 through April 18, 2000, instead of only getting credits from January 2000 to April 2000.

The Judge then issued an order that I be given 1,766 days credits off of my sentence and ordered my immediate release from the California Department of Corrections and that all extra credits be taken off of my parole.

Amen

I want to take the time to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read my testimony, and to help me to continue to keep my promise to God.

It is only by God’s grace that I am here now able to type this testimony on my very own computer, at my very own desk, in my very own office in the company that God has blessed me with.

Take care and may God’s grace be with you all.

By: Gill

Delivered from a Confused Mindset

A Child of God — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 01:17:31 +0000

My name is Maeshell Matthews. I was born on a southern plantation 68 years ago. My parents were sharecroppers. Our parents were seldom home and us kids had the run of the house. There were eleven of us children. Me being the fifth child between seven brothers helped me to become a rough tom boy. Our home was always noisy, something was always happening. Daddy and mudda (we called our mother “Mudda” were often cussing and fighting each other, we tended to do the same. When our parents fought we would stand huddled together in fear. I was always afraid of the outcome that one of them might kill the other. However, when our parents were away we would abuse the animals, we killed ten little piglets trying to get them to swim. We also vandalized the little church we attended that sat on the end of the dirt road near our house.

We had to strip down to our bare bottom when we were disciplined and beat with three green supple switches braided together that refused to wear out. These modern times those type of whippings would have been child abuse. My parents got fed up with sharecropping and moved to town when I was ten years old. I began to bully other kids when I was in grammar school which continued until I was in ninth grade. I was a mean person. I began smoking cigarettes and drinking early on in my teenage years.

As time progressed I began to gamble, frequent the “honky tonks”. I got married had two little girls but my marriage soon ended because of the constant fighting. I moved to the big city up north to get away from my husband who was stalking me. I found myself in the fast lane drinking, and sometimes gambling playing stud poker, night clubs. I was restless, hardly ever satisfied, I went from man to man, and that did not work either. I met a guy at one of the poker games, he kept a big bank roll and we hooked up together. I found myself with a drug dealer, he was so sweet to me, I was looking for someone to love. I began to let him stash his drugs at my house, he always paid me, he always made me feel special.I began smoking crack cocaine out of curiosity and that was another bad choice, I always made bad choices. My life was no more interesting.

I had a habit of blaming my mother for the way I had turned out. I would get intoxicated and sob on anybody’s shoulder that acted interested in what I was saying. My new flame and I got on very bad terms. I would cut up my clothes, throw away brand new shoes. I soon found myself having nervous break downs. I was diagnosed a paranoid schizophrenic.

I was a wreck, I was at the point to where when I did smoke crack, my pipe would actually light up, the window blinds would open and shut rapidly, I could hear some whisperings inside the walls, characters would stare at me from the television screen, I heard voices when there was no one in the room except me. I felt as if I was trapped inside of my body. One of those Institutionalized stayed, I turned into a harry gorilla as I stood staring down the dark corridor that led to the day room.

I can go on and on about the confused state of mind and the horrible pit that I found myself in. I decided to try going to church and confessing my life to the preacher and see if he could help me. The pastor and five of his members prayed for me and told me to continue in church. That was the turning point in my life of misery. It has been twenty years of walking daily with my Lord and Saviour Jesus. I have learned so much, it was an unclean spirit that had entered into my body. I honor both my parents just like the Bible says. I had to take an evaluation test to see if I still needed psychiatric care but was found in my right mind. I now have the peace of God resting on me. Thank you Jesus!

By: Maeshell Matthews

God Healed Me

A Child of God — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:55:30 +0000

Thank you lord for hearing my prayer and let me free from the allergy problems all over my body.

By: Anonymous

The Light in My Darkness

A Child of God — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:50:44 +0000

I was nine when I started in a long, downward spiral. It would take two years to hit rock bottom, but I did. I am afraid (yet thankful) that, if I was not so protected, I would have been in a lot more trouble. But, I did not know what was coming nor did I notice the gradual slope down.

It started at home. My mom yelled at me for the tiniest things. She always criticized me. I had no one to talk to about their, either. I kept it bottled up inside. Every night I would cry for about two months. No one noticed, because I would hide in my dark bedroom, tucked away in a closet, my cries muffled by the mounds of clothes.

Next, I joined a site that was a little old for me. This brought me to the realization of drugs and suicide. Self-mutilation was amongst one of the things that interested me (along with pre-marital sex.. yes, I was still nine). After another month or two, I got talking to the wrong crowd, they brought me to self-mutilation.

Nothing could stop me now. The cutting got more intense. I was wise enough at ten to know only to cut on my ankles and shoulders so no one would see except in summer, and I was a rowdy one so no one would care. I lived the next year like that.

Everyday I looked into the mirror. I thought to myself “Who is that?” I begun to get dark circles under my eyes. It looked horrible, like I have not slept in months. I covered it up with make up. I would say to myself “I just have to get through today. Tomorrow will be better.” But I went to sleep every night more disappointed than the night before. It broke me, made me realize there was never gonna be a better tomorrow.

A year past and then I started trying to commit suicide. It got so bad that, after my eleventh birthday, I decided to give myself one week to live, then the deed would be done, once and for all, no chickening out like before.

The good Lord knows I would too, I lived that week as if it were my last. I said good bye and hugged everyone. No one knew why but they asked no questions. My friend ran up to me with an invite to a weekend at a Christian Camp. I, wearily, agreed.

My heart was not set on Jesus. I did not believe in anything after death. I believed you rot in the ground. No soul, no after life. I know now that I was wrong. I hated anything that was Christian. It had no value and was a huge lie to me.

It became the day of the retreat. I finally realized it was the day I was going to kill myself. I decided to wait, I needed time with a friend. Plus, it would be horrifying to kill myself in front of the whole camp. I didn’t wish to scar anyone.

We played games and did camp activities. I cared about nothing. Finally, the sun set. It was dark so they lit a fire and the whole 50 people gathered around it. People were playing guitars and singing. They all sounded beautiful. It got me thinking of what would happen later on that night. I lost it when they started singing “Better is one day”. I poured out my tears.

A soft tap on my hand was the only thing I felt. A complete stranger, a camp counselor I never talked to before grabbed my hand and helped me up. My friend tailed along with us to a nearby boulder. We three discussed what I was going to do. They told me about His undying grace. That God loves me, no matter if the world does or not. I fell even more apart.

She got me some cider and a doughnut and us three went back to the campfire and started singing. I will never forget that night. It felt like the Heavens opened up and engulfed me in a celestial light that came directly from God. Never have I doubted Him.

I would be dead if it were not for God’s undying mercy and impeccable timing. I am grateful, though, that I went through it all. For God let me fall away on purpose. He wanted to call me back so he could tie a rope around my leg and send me back into the sinner’s territory to gain them as well.

Since then, I have brought a small clan of people to the Lord. What wonders the Lord can do with you when you merely have an open heart!

I went to bed that night, not filled with poisons like I thought I was going to. Now, I have great faith in Jesus. I have confessed with my mouth that Jesus is Lord. I know in my heart that He is God and He died for me and my salvation and that of others.

Keep the Faith! Jesus will forgive you Infinity times Infinity! All things are possible with him! And, finally, he is ALWAYS there.. even in suffering, in tears, in the worst times. !!!PRAY!!! He is listening!

By: Emory Allison Monroe

A Ray of Hope

A Child of God — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:38:17 +0000

I just want to give all glory and praise and blessings to my Great Jehovah God who is our strength and our help for his mercy endures forever. Lately my mother has been going through some trials; some of them being health issues that have withstood all her prayers and fasting, have been making her depressed to the point of affecting her speech. Sadly, it seems I’m the only one in the family that seemed to notice her change in disposition and so with all my heart and soul I determined to cheer her up in any way I could, but with little to no success.

At my wits end I turned to him who sits on Heaven’s mercy seat, my only hope for my mother’s recovery, our great physician, through our living saviour Jesus Christ to plead with him for restoration of my mother’s physical, mental, and spiritual health unto life. He is so gracious and merciful to us I knew he would deliver and the day after provided a small ray of hope in the form of my brother. He offered to help me get my mom out of the house for a relaxing evening at the beach – something I’ve been unable to convince her to do for the past couple years; and she agreed. Hallelujah!

We had a relaxing afternoon and my brother and I could notice a small improvement in her mood. Praise the Lord! And so I lift up my hands in praise to my Almighty God and glorify him from the depths of my soul for this tiny breakthrough that I pray is the beginning of my mother’s return to the joy and gladness she knew when she first discovered how great and wonderful our God is. I will bless him with all my soul in the name of his son Jesus Christ, through whom all things are possible for his mercy endures forever. Amen.

By: Anonymous

Scarred for Life

A Child of God — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:31:27 +0000

There I was in the church sitting in the pew. My hands start to sweat as I was very fidgety. I couldn’t stop looking at others as they stood up with there hands lifted up toward God giving Him praise. Not only that, it felt like there was a beam of light shining right on my forehead. I hesitated for a while and then I stood up and ended up in the middle isle, heading toward the altar to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. The preacher spoke and asks me to repeat the words of repentance, forgiveness, and acceptance. And then I was saved. Until then, my cousin was the only one that I knew was saved in the family. I was so excited and knew Jesus was living inside me. That week seemed to be different and was looking up. I was now more prepared to face life.

The following week, Mom had prepared Labor Day Celebration all week long coordinating with family about food, entertainment and games. This was the best time of the summer before school started back. We would really have a good time and stay up late in the celebration. Once it was over, it was time to go back to school. This was my first year in Junior High School. I laid in bed giggling and cheesing about the time we had. I also thought about the first day at school of who I would meet, classes I would attend, and how much fun I would have. Eventually I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

Suddenly, I heard my mother screaming. I jumped up and ran in her room and seen a man of slender build, towering over my mother in the dark with a knife in his hand. Immediately, I said, “Jesus!” and he turned around and start chasing after me with his knife. My mother then tried to fight him off of me from the rear. He then turned around and went back stabbing my mother. Everything was happening so fast. I ran away and ended up in the closet. I didn’t know too much about prayer but I began to talk to Him. I said, “Jesus, help me, Jesus, help me, I want to live, I don’t want to die.” I said this continuously for at least five to ten minutes while hearing my mother scream and fighting off this attacker. After the prayer I received enough peace to now get help. By this time my mother was in the dining room fighting off the burglar. I began to sneak down the hallway to see what was going on. I noticed the phone on the floor at the end of the hallway. So I picked it up and tried and tried to dial for help but there was no dial tone. Eventually the burglar noticed me and he charged at me with his knife and started stabbing on me with all his might and power. He stabbed me approximately thirty-nine times in the face, back, neck, arm and foot. My mother getting up from her injuries ran after him to get him away form me. He threw her off and went back and forth stabbing my mother and me until there was no movement and it was quite.

There I was lying on the floor in my own pool of blood looking at my mother from across the living room. I had my eyes open the whole time as if I were dead. My mother stopped moving and all you could hear were the sounds of the knife going in and out of my mother’s body over and over again. Even though she was dead, he stabbed a few more times just to ensure it was over. There was nothing else I could do but just lay there and watch. It seemed so unreal as if it was a movie or a bad dream but this was the reality of my life being a new believer. I was so close to death that no one believed I was going to overcome the physical, mental and spiritual scar it caused. Even though I was eleven years old as a Christian, the devil attempted to destroy my very existence of living life. Since he couldn’t kill me, he tried to kill my spirit. Other family and friends could only do and believe so much for me to live but I had to believe and trust in God that I would live even though I had been scarred. I had to fight and push even when I wanted to quit.

After the hospital experience, I battled within myself and felt like God forsook me. I had a lot of bitterness and un-forgiveness and didn’t realize it until situations that dealt with my scarred areas of hurt and pain occurred. At times I would be very insecure and scared to be at home by myself, always looking out the window late at night making sure no one was there. At school kids would ridicule me because of my scars. They would put me down. It began to build a wall of hurt and pain that I wouldn’t let anyone in to help.

When I was sixteen I was tired of life and was ready to run away, give up and go some where away from everybody. So I went to school and got into a fight. Faculty discussed sending me to juvenile detention and expelling me from the school district. I was mentally having a nervous break down and didn’t know how to explain it. My Aunt was scared for me and knew I needed to get away. She decided that I needed to go visit my big brother who was in the US Army. Once I visited, my Aunt felt that it was better that I stayed with him. Because of that decision, it changed my outlook on life.

I began to go to church again and I accepted Jesus Christ back into my heart. Since then, God began to heal, deliver, and put me back together again. I can not take the credit. I know for a fact it was God! I can now say, “I forgive the man that killed my mother and stabbed me.” My scars have produced a conviction to live with purpose. For this reason I am determined to empower, encourage and inspire others that they too can overcome and make something out of their lives. Eventually I wrote my first book entitled, “Scarred for Life: Stabbed thirsty-nine times and forgave (scarred2live.com).” Yet it may be difficult, as long as we believe and trust in God, all things are possible! Matt 19:26 KJV But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

My goal is to reach as many people that have been scarred one way or another to let them know if I can overcome my tragedy, they can too. So what ever it takes to get the word out, I am willing to do it through speaking, writing books, etc.. I am grateful to be alive and I must allow my mother’s life to live with in me. God bless you and don’t let anything stop you from fulfilling your purpose in Christ Jesus!

By: Fredric A. Almond

My Road to Damascus

A Child of God — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 06:33:52 +0000

For decades I tried just about everything to find happiness, self respect, love and the answers to the questions, why am I hear and what is life all about. That journey led me from having most everything I wanted and still not being happy, to pain, sorrow, loneliness, homelessness, hopelessness, alcoholism, drug addiction and thoughts of suicide. After years of trying and when the pain was just too much to bear, I fell to my knees and asked God to either end this miserable life of mine or show me how to live the right way. I asked him to come into my life and take over, if there was anything left worth taking. I felt a sense of relief, I let go and I gave up my way of doing things and sought His guidance. It was now up to God to show me the way and boy did He. This is not a story of an instant healing, but instant revelation that God is real, and how He opened my eyes and gradually showed me things I would never have seen without Him in my life. God is real and life is unbelievable better with Him in it. Your experience might not be as dramatic as mine, everyone is different. I ran my life into the ground and could barley think straight so it took an undeniable sign to pull me up out of the hole I had dug for myself. In my case nothing short of a miracle would have gotten my attention. I pray that you don’t have to hurt as bad as I did to find the truth.

In the early part of 2005 I was as low as a person could get. I was sleeping on the floor of a condo that I would soon be evicted from. My girlfriend had just walked out the door telling me that we were through. I had lost everything that I needed to have some sort of normal life. I just wanted all this to end; I laid down on the floor and eventually fell asleep. That’s when my miracles started.

While sleeping I had a dream that I remember completely and still think of almost every day, even though it’s been over five years. It was my future. This dream was very different from all my other dreams. For one think it was in color, I’ve never dreamt in color before. And it was so detailed that I can write about it after all this time. It was what I believe would have happened to me if I did not stop drinking and using drugs.
In my dream I was driving my white van when I crossed the center lane and ran into a car head on. The car was carrying four teenagers, none of them made it. I unfortunately did but would never walk again. The police found alcohol and drugs in my van and the public wanted to see justice. My family suffered terribly from their anger at me, but directed at them. After some time in rehabilitation I was put in some kind of a nursing home where I just waited to die. Even in there I was treated terribly by everyone because of how I ruined four lives. Some time had passed and the only thing I wanted to do before I died was to see my girlfriend one last time, I had no visitors. I didn’t remember seeing her since the accident and did not think I would see her again. Then one day she walked into room, I could see that life had treated her bad since the accident. I could barely recognize her but could tell by her eyes that it was her. Shortly after she left I passed away.

I remember flying like a bird over the area that I grew up in. I started at 12 mile road and went south above Milton. I was about thirty feet up, going side to side just like a bird. I flew over South school where I spent many years playing baseball, volleyball and football, then over the park at Butcher Jr High and then straight up. It was like my last look at my life. I went straight up until I was in total darkness, as black as black could be. I remember being very calm and thinking that I must have died. I had absolutely no fear. I thought to myself that I should pray. I started saying our father, at that time it was the only prayer I knew besides now I lay me down………….. Instantly I saw a speck of light that seemed like it was on the other side of the universe, but I flew straight towards it. It got brighter and brighter and I could tell that it was not one light but many lights grouped closely together. Somehow I forgot the words to our father and stopped praying. I stopped going towards the lights and woke up. I like to think that the lights were family and friends that had already moved on and were there to guide me. I did get to experience what heaven was like in another dream. I’m still trying to figure out how to put that into words.

After I woke up I just keep walking around the room trying to understand what just happened to me. I knew it was something very different. Then all of a sudden I felt something touch me in the upper, center of my back. I felt it slowly wrap around me and as it did I felt warmth and a love that I have never felt before and have not felt since. It may sound strange but it felt like wings, wings made of gold, liquid gold. I felt so safe, so loved, so warm, and so right. I never wanted it to end. Then from directly in front of me I heard and felt the word, REPENT, it was audible and I physically felt it penetrate every cell in my body as it went thru me. It was powerful. I fell to my knees and realized I was in the presence of God.

While on my knees God revealed my complete past. My whole life, up until this moment, was played like a movie thru my thoughts, but it was like looking at it from the outside in instead of from my personnel perspective. It only took a few moments to review my whole life. It was like my brain was a super computer that could comprehend all this information in seconds. I was horrified. My life was all wrong. What a waste. I cried what felt like a lifetime of tears. I felt totally ashamed and at the same time total bliss, because I knew that I was being given another chance to do it right.

My mind was full of questions, I remember thinking questions and instantaneously the answers were in my head. Like mental telepathy at the speed of light. I know the questions were asked and answered, but for reasons only known to God, I was not allowed to remember the questioned I asked or the answers, but I know for sure that I asked and received the answers. All I can tell you is they were about God. After that I still had the wings wrapped around me and I had this undeniable urge to stand in the shower. I kept fighting it because it just seemed too strange to stand in the shower when I’m having a supernatural spiritual experience. But I gave in, I just stood in the shower and let the water pour down on me. It felt like my whole past was being washed away. I didn’t understand then but now I believe it was a form of baptism because as soon as my foot hit the tile floor while getting out, I felt the wings start to open up. I yelled NO, but heard, (not audible) in my head that they would always be there. I felt an incredible sense of renewal and strength.

I was staying at my son’s while in the process of cleaning up my shattered life when I decided to try and start my old van. I had tried numerous times before with no luck but this time it started right up. I was quite surprised. I noticed it was on empty so I drove up to the corner gas station. On the way back I had a strong feeling to pull into a small church parking lot. I watched as people pulled in and went inside. The last time I remember going to church was when I was around five years old with my mom. I was very nervous about going in but felt an overwhelming sense that I really needed to.

It just happened to be a African American church and I was the only white person there, I wondered if I was in the wrong place but soon found out what I was there for. During the service they had a play. The play was about a troubled girl alone in her room; she was at the end of her rope and praying for help. Suddenly she felt a presence and than a load and powerful voice came over the speaker system, REPENT! She was having the same kind of spiritual experience as I did. I found out afterword that the lady that wrote the play was praying to God when she received the idea to do the play. What are the odds that in the entire world, on that particular day, at that particular time and in that particular church, they would be having a play about what just happened to me? I must have had a shocked look on my face because one of the members came over and introduced himself. I quickly told him what was going on and he asked if I would repeat my story to the congregation. The biggest fear in my life was standing in front of a group of people and talking but I managed to do it. I still remember the looks on some of the people’s faces. God was using my experience to build the faith of others and at the same confirming mine.

Another time I was reading in a public place and a stranger walked over to me and handed me a plastic bookmark. When I took a good look at it I noticed it had a picture of a statue, the statue was of an angel. The wings on the angel were made of gold. My mind instantly went back to the night of my awakening and the feeling of warm gold that I had, to me I was in the arms of God that night and have been following Him ever since.

It’s been years since my awakening and my life has changed dramatically. I wake up with a good attitude looking forward to what the day may bring. I still have my share of trials but what use to send me into a freefall is now just another opportunity to grow stronger. I now have a sense of peace and confidence I’ve never had before. Everything makes sense. When you have a good view of the bigger picture life is a lot easier. It’s not all about me and what I want; it’s about all of us working together for a better world. God said that the two most important commandments are, (Matt. 22:37-39) love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, with all thy mind, and love thy neighbor as thyself. When you walk thru life looking for opportunities to help your brothers and sisters and make the world a little easier for someone else, your life is more rewarding. And while we’re doing that God is looking out for us.

We all find the truth in different ways. I had to hit rock bottom, you don’t have to. God gave us free will and won’t force himself on us, but if you ask Him, He will be there. If you’re tired of feeling lost all you have to do is ask for directions.

Rom 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

“Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”

By: Richard